


Adventures in Being Human

by PolkaDot_BowTie



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Accidentally Human AU, Baby Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has Vitiligo, Janus Sanders is a dad, Kid Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Fic, M/M, Patton Sanders is a dad, Teenage Anxiety | Virgil Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25399456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolkaDot_BowTie/pseuds/PolkaDot_BowTie
Summary: One day, the sides wake up and realise they aren't sides anymore, they're humans!? Not just humans, however, a domestic family. Virgil is a teenager, Remus and Roman are only children, Logan is a baby, and Janus and Patton didn't realise they'd be embracing the parental figure positions in such a literal way...
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 162





	1. A Change...

It all started one morning. It was a fairly normal morning; birds were chirping, the sky was clear and blue, and Patton was content. Then something shifted next to him.

Patton immediately shot up, looking over at his mystery partner. The other person rolled over, still asleep. He had dark brown hair tied off into a small bun on the other side of his head, and most of his skin was a chestnut brown, apart from one side of his face, where it trailed down into a similar skin colour to his in a vitiligo. The other person moves abruptly, stretching his arms and back so they pop satisfyingly, before sitting up and rubbing his eyes. One was a chocolate brown, the other fierce amber. The other looked at Patton with confusion, before opening his mouth and speaking.

“…Patton?” He asked, in a voice that sounded so familiar—

“Janus!?” Patton gasped, bringing a hand to his mouth. Janus nodded, quickly hopping out of the bed, and checking a mirror on the wall. Patton did the same thing, joining the other man in their inspection of their new appearances. Patton finally got a good look at himself.

He was significantly taller than his partner, with very curly blond hair and was positively covered in freckles. He had bright blue eyes, similar to that of the morning sky on a summer’s day, which were framed by giant circle glasses. Something that was noticeably different, however, was how different they looked.

As the sides, they all had slight differences from each other, but still relatively looked like Thomas. Patton had slightly rounder cheeks, Roman had a beauty spot under his left eye, Logan’s hair was much darker, etc. Now, Patton had much rounder cheeks, and Janus had a much more angular face, as well as the vitiligo.

Apparently, Janus must have read his mind since they both came to the same conclusion.

“We’re not just sides anymore.”

“We’re not just sides anymore.”

The two looked at each other, then panicked slightly, making awkward laughing/sobbing noises.

“Oh god, what do we do???” Patton asked, waving his hands around in the air in a panic.

“Calm down, you’re fine. I’m fine. The others—” Janus cut himself off, eyes widening.

“THE OTHERS!”

Patton stopped his panic and straightened, “You go find the twins, I’ll find Logan and Virgil.”

“On it.” Janus quickly raced out of their room, exploring what appeared to be a family house.

Patton quickly followed, immediately drawn towards a dark door. He twisted the knob and opened the door slightly. There was a small lump in a bed in the corner, whoever was in there was clearly asleep. The room had a purple hue, with cartoon spiders residing on the curtains. Patton was immediately deterred because of this but pulled himself together. It was worth it for his dark, strange son.

Patton walked over to the bed, giving it a gentle shake to wake up whoever it was under the purple covers.

“Time to get up!” He sing-songed, trying not to cause a panic.

“Ugh, Patton? Is that you Popstar?” Virgil.

“Yes! Is that you Virgil?”

“Yeah. Woah, you look different.”

Patton did look different, but Virgil did more-so. He wasn’t wearing his eyeshadow, having just woken up, but had very dark hair that was dyed purple at the tips of his bangs. Green eyes looked through at him, but the most noticeable part was that Virgil looked no older than 16.

Patton ignored that in favour of his search.

“Yeah, I know, I’ll explain later, but first help me find Logan.”

Virgil hopped out of bed, going down the stairs to continue his search.

Meanwhile, Patton decided to scope out his and Janus’ room a little more.

There was a giant wardrobe, an on-suite bathroom, a vanity table, and a crib in the corner. Walking over quietly, Patton saw a small form resting in the crib, clutching a blue blanket, eyes shut.

“Logan?” Patton whispered quietly, picking the baby up in a feather light but secure grip. The baby stirred, making cute chirps and warbles.

The father figure couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.

When the baby’s eyes opened, Patton could finally take in all his features. Thick hair that was so black, that under the sun it looked blue. Small splashes of freckles adorned his face, with eyes as blue as shimmering sapphires.

“Logan?” Patton asked incredulously. The baby cocked his head, before giving a cute nod.

“You’re so cute!” Patton shifted his grip on Logan, so he was resting on his hip. Logan made an indignant noise, but it was dampened since it sounded more like a cute giggle.

Patton held back his squeal, walking out of the room and down the stairs.

Eventually they found the kitchen, where Janus was making pancakes, Virgil sat at the end of the large table, messing on his phone. Two 9-year-olds sat at the table, discussing something that sounded like creative ideas. Must be Roman and Remus.

“Morning everyone?” Patton asked, Logan still on his hip. The baby was fiddling with the sleeve of his blue pyjamas, curiosity overriding logical thinking. Janus looked over his shoulder and smiled at Patton before noticing Logan.

“Would you mind taking over the pancakes, Patton?” Patton nodded, handing Janus Logan. The other looked at the baby, then at Patton who mouthed ‘Logan’. Janus nodded, eyes widening, before meeting the baby’s gaze.

Janus walked over to the table, planting Logan in a space themed high-chair next to Virgil.

“Okay, so… it seems we’re humans.”

“I’ll say!”

“Yeah, what happened to us?! What happened to THOMAS?! What is going on!?” Virgil’s breathing picked up, but the baby sat next to him tapped him on the shoulder in the breathing technique.

“Thanks, L?” The smaller one preened at the praise, before smacking away Remus’ hand with distain.

“Does anyone know Thomas’ phone number?”

“Logan knows it!” Patton called from the kitchen, where he was piling pancakes onto a giant plate.

Janus hummed, placing a phone on the tray connected to Logan’s highchair. He watched as the baby pressed numbers on the screen, before it dialled.

It picked up, and a familiar voice spoke.

“Hello?”

“Thomas, this is Janus. We need to talk.”


	2. A Change... Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2: Thomas comes over, with two extra people...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken so long to come out (haha, gay) but I've just been really busy. School got in the way, Coronavirus was stressful in my country, Lockdown, and I lost interest in the Sanders Sides fandom. However, I finally got this chapter finished, and now its here for you to read! Enjoy!! <3

Sat in the living room, Thomas stared at all of his sides. Janus squirmed under the confused gaze.

Janus sat by the arm of the coach, Remus, Roman, and Virgil lined up next to him. Patton sat on the recliner by the coffee table, Logan laying on his chest with his head tucked into the crook of his neck. Patton rubbed his hands up and down the baby’s back whilst Virgil fiddled with his hoodie strings.

Behind him, Thomas could hear Remy and Emile’s breathing. He understood why they’d materialized now. Remy, still technically a ‘side’, materialized with the others, though not in the same household. Emile had been given enough character, plot, and general believability to materialize since he was almost a real person. He and Remy appeared in the same house, about a block away from the one they were currently residing in.

“So… let me get this straight—”

“Good luck with that!”

“Roman, this isn’t the time for jokes!”

“Well, I’m _sorry_ Emo Nightmare, but jokes are an easy way to cope with whatever is going on right now!”

Thomas sighed as his former sides argued amongst themselves. Virgil and Roman eventually quietened down, looking back at him as they proceeded to ignore each other’s gazes.

Thomas huffed.

“You’re all… humans?”

“Yes.”

“So, other people can see you all.”

“That’s correct.”

“And I can’t summon any of you to help me with issues and problems?”

“Yas, gurl.”

“And we have no idea how to fix this.”

“Pretty much.”

“We don’t have any idea how we got into this, and no idea how to get out.”

“…cool.”

Virgil sputtered, “It is NOT COOL, THOMAS!!! We don’t have any idea how to deal with this, who knows how it could be affecting you, AND WE’RE IN THE REAL WORLD!!! The world inside your head was bad enough, I don’t know if I could deal with it by myself!”

“Vee, chill babe.”

“No, REMY, I will not chill!”

“Virgil, listen to reason--“

“I CAN’T LISTEN TO REASON!!! WANNA KNOW WHY!? BECAUSE THE PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF RATIONAL THINKING IS CURRENTLY AROUND A YEAR OLD AND IS STRUGGLING TO STAY AWAKE ON PATTON’S CHEST!!!!!!”

Virgil gestured to Logan, whose eyes were fluttering. Patton cooed something softly, and Logan let himself drift off. Thomas smiled.

“Virgil, listen to me.” Janus said firmly, “We are okay. Thomas is okay. Everything in okay. Breathe with me.”

They followed the breathing exercises for a few minutes, until Virgil’s breathing evened out where it had quickened.

“…Thanks Janus.”

Janus preened slightly, though Virgil didn’t notice.

“It’s getting late, why don’t we order a pizza?” Patton asked. Everyone quickly agreed, and Patton handed the sleeping baby to Thomas whilst he went into the kitchen to order the food.

Whilst Patton ordered a few pizza for the group, those remaining in the living room made a poor attempt at small talk.

“So,” Thomas started, balancing Logic on the crook of his arm, “Nice weather we’re having, huh?”

Roman snorted.

“What?!” Thomas asked, looking at the child defensively.

“Nothing. I just thought after years of helping you with creative tasks, you’d be able to think of a better conversation starter. We’ve been out of your head for less than a day and suddenly all creative thinking has gone out the window!”

“I could send you out the window if you wanted me to!” Remus reminded, looking over at his twin brother maniacally. Roman bristled, and Janus had to settle the growing tensions before someone got hurt.

Just then, Patton came back and placed the phone on the coffee table.

“Pizzas are ordered, I just got plain cheese and tomato since I kind of forgot to ask everyone’s preferences…”

Emile smiled and walked over.

“Don’t worry, Morality, it’s actually better for people’s moods if they don’t have to make choices. Apparently, the brain puts itself on a time limit, raising unnecessary anxiety levels.” Emile explained.

Thomas raised an eyebrow; he didn’t know he knew so much psychology.

“Let’s stop stalling and cut to the chase. We’re humans. Real humans. I don’t know why we all manifested as different ages, or in different places. We just did. That’s all we needed you here for Thomas, to explain.” Virgil said, “Though, it is nice to have you here as well. You’re familiar, nOT THAT EVERYONE ELSE HERE ISN’T FAMILIAR—”

“Vee, chill.” Janus said, looking at the purple-haired teen with concern.

Thomas shrugged.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m not leaving anytime soon, Patton just ordered pizza. Sorry, Virge, but I’m eating your food and then I’ll leave!”

Well, at least Thomas is honest.


End file.
